Today marks six months since we said I do! We’ve learned a lot in the last six months. I’ve had to learn how to make healthy meals guy-approved, and that I can no longer sleep diagonally across the queen-sized bed. Andrew has learned that throw pillows are very important, and decorative towels are not to be used. More importantly, we’ve both learned how to forgive, how to compromise, how to respect each other, and more. Here are a few things we’ve learned in six months of marriage.

Forgive Each Other

I read a story about a husband and wife who received a gift at their wedding that said “do not open until your first big fight.” Each time they got in an argument, they thought to themselves, “Is this really that bad? Is this the fight that’s going to make us open it?”. They went EIGHT YEARS without opening the gift. Each time we get in an argument, I think, “Am I really going to be mad about this? Is it that important that he forgot to to do this?” 9 times out of 10, it’s a little thing that isn’t worth arguing over. That being said, when it’s a bigger issue that bothers you for more than a few hours, sit down and talk about it.

Communication

Let me tell y’all something I’ve learned about myself over the years Andrew and I have been together. I’m a stuffer. If something bothers me, I’ll keep it inside because I don’t want to cause conflict. Then, whatever it was will happen again, and by the time I want to talk about it, it’s “THIS HAS HAPPENED THREE TIMES.” And each time, Andrew calmly tells me (again) to please tell him when these things happen the first time. He’s the reason we have great communication, and I’m getting better 😉

It’s not uncommon for me to say, “Hey, you said this or did this earlier, and it bothered me because…”. We talk about it and work through it, and we move on. No held grudges or hours long silent treatments. In my opinion, having open communication between you and your partner is the biggest key to a healthy relationship.

Learn What’s Important To The Other Person

Andrew and I didn’t live together before we got married, so when we moved in together we had to learn about how the other person operates. For example, Andrew prefers that the front door is locked almost always. Growing up on a farm, we didn’t pay much attention to the doors until we checked them before we went to sleep. I don’t like clothes on the floor (ok, most people don’t), so we came up with a system where Andrew puts his clean clothes in a basket, and they will get put back up on a hanger or folded in a drawer by the closet fairy. (That’s me, by the way)

I make an effort to lock the door behind me, and Andrew makes the effort to keep his clothes off the floor because we know these things are important to each other. By doing these things, you honor and respect your partner.

Set Aside “Me” Time

I can’t tell y’all how important it is to spend time with just yourself regularly. Marriage doesn’t mean being glued to each other 24/7. In fact, it’s not healthy. We each have times during the week where we do our own thing. My favorite “me time” is going for a run or going to the gym. I’m completely in my own world, and I often use my runs as time to talk to God. I always return feeling refreshed and ready to give Andrew my attention. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, make time to do it. Your relationship will be better because of it.

Set Aside “We” Time

You had to see this one coming after the paragraph above. I had to explain to Andrew that living together isn’t the same as intentionally setting aside time to be together. We love going to farmers markets and festivals, and trying new restaurants. When you’re on a budget, it’s tempting to want to save the money instead of going on a date. We have a rule that we live by, and it’s this:

money spent to invest in your relationship is always worth it.

Andrew and I have a credit card that gives us cash back rewards, and we use those rewards exclusively for dates. This way, we always have some money set aside and don’t feel guilty about using it. We’re also doing a marriage class at church right now that you can read more about here. I know you’ve heard it before, but I can’t stress enough the importance of continuing to date even after you’re married.

By no means are we experts on marriage, but I wanted to share the things we’ve learned so far. If it helps even one of y’all with your marriage or relationship, then it’s worth it. Here’s to the next six months of marriage, and all the years after that 🙂

Do y’all have any must-do’s in your relationship? I’d love to hear!

Thanks for reading,

All my wedding photos are taken by the best photographer in all the land, Giddy and Gold