Tidiness Is Overrated

I know you know the feeling that sets in the day before guests arrive.

Must. Clean. Everything.

The pressure is on even more when it’s your mother coming.

Set out fresh towels, vacuum, clean the toilets, buy fresh flowers, wash all the blankets so they don’t smell like dog. 

I did all of this and more last Thursday in preparation for my mom coming to visit. Friday morning I scanned the apartment and was very pleased with myself. Counters were clear, the dining room table was free from its usual “stacks” (is anyone else a stacker?), the shoes were all actually inside the basket by the door.

We had a mother-daughter shopping afternoon and came back to the apartment that evening. My mom unpacked her stuff and proceeded to spread out across the counter and dining room table. She’s a stacker, like me. There sat her stacks. I sat on the couch with a glass of wine, watching her get settled and soaking in having her there. She lives 10+ hours away, so it’s always wonderful to have her visit.

My husband and dog were snuggling on the couch as my mom unpacked. I cringed a little at the couch. The “leather” on it has been flaking off, and the slipcover never seems to sit quite right. The cushions are a little sunken from dog cuddles and Netflix marathons.

In that moment I realized something.

I would rather have all the mess in the world if it meant my heart felt this full.

It’s easy to get caught up wanting a Pinterest-perfect house. A neatly organized pantry, a perfectly styled bookshelf or bar cart. We scroll through social media, comparing our own home to others that seem to “always have it together”. I much prefer a different style- a home that looks lived in. Right now, that looks like a living room with dog toys strewn about. A couch with too many blankets because we just like snuggling up that much.

In the future, it will mean a refrigerator door covered in artwork, and a dining room table that holds buckets of crayons instead of perfectly styled chargers and napkins.

You are not defined by how organized your house is, or how nice your dining room table is set.

A messy home does not mean a messy life.

Next time you look around your living room or dining room and see too many school supplies, dog toys or “stacks”, take a deep breath. You’re pretty darn lucky to have those mess-makers.

Tidiness is overrated.

xo,